It's been awhile...

It's been awhile since my last post. I have been extraordinarily busy at work. I'm afraid the situation is not getting any better. I am profundly ill-at-ease and do not know what direction my life should go in. I know I want a new job, but I can't leave this one without knowing I have something else and that's difficult. I wish I could study and go to school again for library science, but that degree costs so much money. Does anyone know of any scholarships out there? Let me know.

Too tired and so sad. . .

It has been a long and not-very good week. I spent the first half of the week in an insomniac state; falling asleep at 2:00am and waking at 6:00am. Of course, this meant I was in a grumpy mood. My poor hubbie has not been feeling well and has had to support my mood swings. I just have so much on my mind. I am so unhappy with things in my life I don't know where to start to unravel it all for myself. I wonder if things will ever be the same again.

So, am I supposed to feel PROUD about being a woman after I hear this????!

Kindergarten

I spent the first part of my morning cleaning my house. This is a typical Saturday activity in my humble NYC abode. As I straightened out the top drawer of my nighttable, I came across my Kindergarten report card. My mother must've given this to me a long time ago, but as is sometimes the case, I shoved it in the drawer and forgot about it. This morning, I took sometime to read Ms. Mullen's (teacher) comments. She writes: "Silvia is a sweet girl who plays well with others and enjoys being in class," and "It is a pleasure having Silvia in my class." I found that I sobbed softly as I read those comments for the girl I no longer was but would have liked to know better. Time really does tick too fast.

Al Mercato. . .

One of the most pleasant shopping experiences I have ever had is walking around the open air market in Forio d’Ischia. Ischia is a small island in the Bay of Naples which neighbors well-known Capri. I have never been to Capri, but all Ischitani (as the locals are called) swear that their island is more beautiful. I won’t bore you with comparisons, but if the open air market I referred to in the first sentence is any indication, I would have to agree with the islanders.
What makes the market so special, you ask? Everyday, a different group of vendors from all over the Campania region of Italy come to sell their wares. All types of household items can be found and bartered for at the mercato. There are cheese vendors, fruit vendors, those who sell clothes, lampshades, shoes. . . .well, you get the picture. The vendors are friendly and persuasive. When I go, I try to bring one of my relatives with me so as to help me bargain AND convince me not to buy everything in sight. Considering the low prices, this is no small feat.
The most beautiful object I ever bought at the market is a peach-colored embroidered peach doily. Now, I know it is not hand-made or as precious as any of the doilies my mother has made in her lifetime, but it is strikingly attractive nonetheless and adorns my coffee table in a most pleasing manner. Every time I look at it, I am transported back to Ischia and all her beauty. Although I purchased the doily several years ago, I can still remember that it was hanging in the last stall on the right and there were several colors to choose from: blue, yellow, mint green, and peach. I debated whether I liked the peach or mint green better and decided the peach suited my complexion better. (I know, I used to be much more vain way back when.) I remember taking it back to my grandmother’s house, where I was staying, and putting it into my luggage right away lest I forget it in Ischia. Why I was so excited about such a simple purchase, I don’t know. I am not wealthy, but I have been known to purchase pricey, lovely items every now and then but the happiness I felt over this simple piece of cloth remains unequaled today. Perhaps my doily and love for the island of Ischia are intertwined; that is, I love Ischia because of her simplicity and beauty just as I love this doily. When I look at the doily, I think if Ischia and I feel blessed to have been able to spend time on the island amongst her precious people and swum in her topaz-colored waters. I don’t know when I will be able to go back there, but my doily gives me a daily dose of hope that it will be soon and that, nel frattempo (or, in the meantime), it will comfort me and help me to hold onto my memories.

Pregando. . .

Recently, I have been surrounded by people who want to converse about prayer. It's interesting because although I am not deeply religious in that I do not attend church services religiously (hee hee), I do believe in God and genuinely want to feel His prescence in my life. Therefore, I have been thinking about how to explore different kinds of prayers. Does anyone have any ideas?

Desiderando. . .

This is the very famous Chiesa del Soccorso in Forio d'Ischia. This beautiful view is visible from my grandmother's terrace. The church was most likely built in the 16th century. The wall you see all around the shoreline was built, in part, by my grandfather and his father. Everywhere on the island of Ischia there are reminder's of my grandfather's work as a housebuilder. Just look at the beauty of this photo? Is it any wonder I miss it?